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Thursday, April 16, 2009

wow its ages since i posted hahaz. i never really thought of posting again cause basically i was lazy, and not much time. but i just have this urge to vent my feelings, so yea i thought of this, since no one ever reads this blog le, suits me fine. tdy i lost my match 3:1, wondering what i was thinking then. the feeling sux aft tt i think, although it was only felt like later, i feel like im wasting my time and sacrifices even bothering to train as much as i can. i come home from trng so tired and fall aslepp doing hw or studying almost like 3 times a week, whats the point when i seem to be losing... i really wonder what i want. why im i so uptight, its just a stupid comepetition some may think. but the point is tt i put in effort, isnt there suppose to be a phrase called no pain no gain or hard work brings success, since i had pain, why is there no gain? if i worked for it why im i not getting it. and i know im reaching the last 1 or 2 years of my tbt so called path, i wanna do the best for what i have left, its just. i dont know how to explain. but aft spending more than 5 or 6 years playing table tennis, you wont feel like giving up just like tt unless you acheived something to mark the end, well basically i did nothing. i haven even have half a acheivement. im i really so not talented, cant you just let my effort pay off once... should i continue or what... but i guess i expereinced failure so much tt its all quite numb to me, but will i still have tt urge to do well, to squeeeze out time for trng like i did ?
anyway aport from tt, i heard my bro made some serious mistakes in his exams. for hes confidential purpose, shall not elaborate. i know he tried his best and studied hard for it, hope he can get over over it and concentrate on the rest of his exams. gor gor dont give up! i know you can do it.
i once thought studying is the only thing on earth tt will get good marks so long as you put in the effort to study, well i have to reconsider tt. nw it seems, hard work only pays off for ppl with luck, with talent. people with just plain hard work, it brings you nowhere.


6:51 AM