Friday, March 30, 2007
sticks and stones can break your bones, but words cant hurt you. this phrase can be seriously done away with. words can really hurt, if they hit the sensitive part of you, or just to put it simply, words can crush a person's confidence. they can do much more, depends on how you take it.
i guess im really stressed nowadays, every minor things will just piss me off and...i just cant keep my cool. sometimes i think i can just cry it out, worst is nobody seems to understand. i guess i need to have some quiet times to myself and calm my own nerves.
7:13 AM
Thursday, March 29, 2007
im so tired. tdy after comp go for trng, my dinner was a burger from macs and i ate it in like 5 min, hahaz lucky i didnt get indigestion. oh man tdy's comp was dam scary, not happy with my performance, nvm will do better! go team!
sometimes life's is just so complicated, many problems and anxieties await us. or maybe we call them challenges. well i guess tt's wad makes life interesting and motivate us to improve, but sometimes i just find it too stressful and well...i dunno. hmm, once again i will jus try to do things at my very best so i will have no regrets. yup! to everyone out there, don't give up too! kk, tired le, ciao!
7:20 AM
Saturday, March 24, 2007
zzzz... such a tiring week. wish i could have more rest, ok not wish, cause i NEED more rest. dam im like so lack of sleep, this week two days slept at 4am, chiong hw. guess i really need better time management, i should try and not to drag and do things faster so i will have more time. hmm yea, if not i will be sleeping in class again. upcoming weeks are filled with tests and datelines for assignments, sianzz, when will i really have a gd week of rest. i wan a week where i go for trainings, and the rest of the time to do whatever i wan. nvm, i will jus do my best.
oh and dun you find tt nowdays are really hot, im like sweating nw when im jus sitting in front of the computer typing. gosh, global warming is sure serious. hope that the situation will get better soon if not i will jus melt like a butter.
ok and SCH NATIONALS has started! hahaz. yup i will do my best for my team. :) gogogo! with all the hard work, we can do it. yes yes.
sianzz trng tdy was not very gd, argh my dong zuo still a big prob. i need to change it, need to, and soon. i know with a wrong dong zuo very hard to improve, im trying, i really wan to change. but its really not tt easy, have to kao gan jue, but im not suceeding. argh i wun give up hope, must keep trying, must believe i will get it. yes. i will.
ok tts about it, nw i wun be blamed for not updating XD i really had no time this week la. go do hw le, if not not enough rest again. hahaz. zzzzzz...
i know it takes time, but i wun give up on myself, i have been putting in so much effort, i know i need to think a little harder, im trying, its not easy, but i will. i need your support to help me in this journey. i will try very hard till i get it. yes i will.
6:29 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
0:3. Such a CRUSHING DEFEAT. this is not the first time... i think tt's why im taking it so hard nw. and its one of the worse tt has happened, i am really very disappointed. i was given the chance, a chance, but what, i just let it slip through my fingers once again. and what hit me worse is, i was not able to play my best out. i was so freaking nervous i couldnt even play properly. cuo all peng then xia wang, gong shou so jin all shi wu. what the hell is wrong with me la.... i hate myself for losing, i hate myself for not being able to play well, i hate everything tt has happened tdy. i guess i can blame no one but myself. but i have been training so hard, i really dunno whats wrong, how long more must i keep losing. how long.... i cant just forget this, i cant. it really hurt... i really dunno what to do. it was such a crushing defeat... why am i so weak, so lousy. this can be said to be one of the better chance this year, i doubt there will be another, and i jus disappointed myself so badly. i dunno why, jus thinking of all the trainings and hardwork and what lay ahead is jus a crushing defeat, i really dunno what to do. its, i jus really wish time would turn around and let me have a second chance. i really wan a second chance, but i know it will never happen. i lost, and it will remain a fact no matter hw many times i cry, no matter how many times i dwell over it. its OVER...it really hurts just to think about the match. it hurts. no, you don't understand. no one will understand how im feeling nw...
i jus want to thank those who supported me, really thank you. i appreciate it, sadly i have to disappoint all of you too.
9:53 PM